hardware removal recovery day 2

Just a little video check-in...

updates and strides forward

Hi readers!! Oh jeez I have NOT been great at updating - but it hasn't been because I don't want to or don't have time, it's actually because I've felt that there's not much to report. Until today...I did my first crow pose since the surgery...

For those of you who don't know - I was getting pretty into yoga before I broke my ankle, and being unable to do it for so long really took it's toll on me. Over the past several weeks I've been doing what I can to work my way back into anything resembling a satisfying practice, but it's felt like a very tough, long road. Getting into - and holding - this crow pose was a huge feat for me and I'm really happy about it.

The pink sock is a compression sock (I got this kind, seems good) and goes all the way up to my knee. I'm wearing it because now that I'm weight-bearing more, my ankle has been getting all kinds of swollen - nothing that ice and elevation and massage can't soothe, but it's fucking annoying and uncomfortable.

Weight-bearing also brings all kinds of new aches and pains that I didn't have before - mostly sharp nerve pains in my heel and different parts of my ankle and calf - but they usually go away after massage and ice (the cure-alls, obviously).

This past weekend J and I took a little vacation to the Oregon Coast - maybe it was the smell of the ocean or the freedom of being away from my bed that I now know so intimately - but right before we got in the car to come home I put my crutches to the side and did this:

No, that doesn't mean I'm off my crutches, I still use one of them to get around, and the outside of my foot is so tight that it quite hurts to put pressure on...but STILL. It was awesome and weird. Also the house that we stayed in had a floor-level shower, meaning you just walked right into it - no tub to step over - so I took my first standing up shower...I made J come hang out in the bathroom with me while I did it in case I slipped. Not the sexiest naked time we've ever had, but a huge step up from right after surgery when he actually had to bathe me and floss my toes.

More updates when I've got em!
Peace out

the boredom...OH THE BOREDOM

J started his new job last week - which is great because it's a job and it's money and it happened really quickly after our recent relocation - and it also kinda sucks because now I'm home...all day...every day...alone. I get visitors every once and a while who give me love and bring me goodies, but basically it's just me.

My tricks of the trade make it easier for me to eat, drink, and ice on my own, but the boredom...OH THE BOREDOM. You can only read, watch movies/TV shows, blog, stare off into space, do yoga, and catch up on social media trash for so long. I don't like to shower when I'm home alone, and I have no desire to venture outside on my crutches alone...which really blows when it's beautiful out which it has been the past day or two and looks like it will continue to be. (I can't take the scooter out alone because my building has steps).

Luckily, WEEKENDS EXIST!!

On Sunday J and I went to the park across the street where we watched kids play, bathed in the sun, and listened to Sade. Saturday was my most active day since the surgery - a family & friends day which included brunch (with my leg up on a chair), visiting the Warby Parker bus (where one of the employees kicked my foot and made me want to cry), and a delish Mexican dinner while watching the game (yeah ok, I personally was more focused on watching my fish tacos).

This weekend also marked my first days of wearing non-yoga clothes which felt weird but good. On Saturday I wore jeans and a t-shirt (I even threw on some mascara), and Sunday I put on denim shorts with the same t-shirt, which I was able to do because now I don't stink as badly. All of my bottoms are now awkwardly loose on me, which is all at once disturbing (shit, now I have no pants) and kind of great (who doesn't mind losing a few inches?).

Thank the looord for physical therapy, it's all I have to look forward to during the week...and only 12 more days until I begin weight-bearing!!

sad leg, sad mihal

You'd think that having my leg out of the cast would have made me feel happy, but being able to see my ankle and foot - swollen, discolored, and completely unable to move - made me really really sad.

 (that's a big toeless sock the doc gave me when he took my stitches out, I kept it on a few days before trying to put on a real one - which J had to do for me)

I almost couldn't speak about my ankle or how I was doing without breaking into tears. I thought about how much time I had before I could even start to try walking (8 weeks post-op), I thought about yoga and joints and how incredible they are, I looked outside at the playground across the street and envied the little kids as they played. I couldn't move my ankle, I could hardly wiggle my toes, I felt sorry for myself...and I still slept on my back. But a week later I took off the white sticky things and was allowed to start taking showers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at my cute little scar starting to form (the rest of that bloody-looking mess is a scab). Yes, taking showers DOES mean shaving my legs - which I did do...you're welcome. My mom hooked me up with this shower chair for old folk...

 

...and my dear J put it together for me without the back, because I really just wanted a stool. I'll tell ya, that's the best shower I ever did take. 

Mood swings continued (and keep continuing) to come and go - oscillating between feeling totally pathetic and kind of okay - I've certainly seen more tears since the accident than I have in the last few years combined. Within a few days of showering, I tried sleeping on my side - using pillows to prop my feet and legs up in various places. Though I continued to wake up several times a night, I found sleeping on my side to be a nearly orgasmic sensation. I also bought this book Mind Over Medicine by Lissa Rankin with the hopes of thinking myself better. We'll see...