thank you god for pilates

Quitting physical therapy was the best decision I've ever made. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome at the beginning, but now that I'm up and walking and feeling more experimental, I really needed a more robust program. When you break your ankle it feels like the only thing that matters in your world is your ankle - but guess what? The rest of your body gets super fucked up too - and that needs to be addressed. Unfortunately PT is more solely focused on the injured body part (which, again, is GREAT for the beginning stages of healing).

So far in pilates I've discovered that my core has weakened tremendously (or maybe it was never strong?), my non-injured foot is SO TIGHT from compensating for the other side, I have some weird shoulder stuff going on from my crutches, etc etc. The movements and exercises we do are slight, but so powerful.

Above is Lavinia, my instructor and friend, in her magical studio of strength and sunshine. Obviously I'm happy to be there. If you live anywhere near the Portland area, I suggest you check her out. She took a video of me on the ankle roller strengthening thing - it's so much harder than it looks ohmygod.

a little more yoga after ankle surgery

There's a little more yoga progress happening all the time...and when I say "little", I REALLY MEAN JUST A FUCKING TEENY TINY BIT. Anyway, I believe I owe my progress to a lot of things - icing, walking, strengthening, pilates, massage - but yoga has been my main (and daily) go-to. It keeps me sane, makes me less sore, gives me a sense of movement when I still feel I have very few options. So I thought I'd share with you several of my main moves that have helped me see some added flexibility along the way (though again, I'm sure everything is contributing to it).

I chose this image as the video still because I think it's sassy - and when you're recovering from ankle surgery (even 5 months out), sometimes that's JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

new job, neglected foot

Hi guys!!

So I've started a new job - which in itself is awesome. I just finished my first week (yay!). How does my ankle/foot come into play?

• I wake up about 15 minutes earlier than I need to so I have time to stretch/massage it.
• It's about a 20-60 minute commute to work, depending on traffic. When it's smooth sailing on the highway my ankle is totally fine, but it's the stop and go - the back and forth between the brake and the gas - that really gets me. I basically have to pick up my whole foot each time, rather than just move my toes back and forth. 
• The building I work at is MASSIVE - the campus is even more massive. The hallways are multiple blocks long, and while I CAN walk them, it's tough. Each step is deliberate. Luckily haven't had to deal with many stairs because I work on the first floor - but even the walk from the parking lot to the building takes a while...
• ...luckily my doc gave me a handicap parking permit (it just came in the mail today), so that cuts down on major walking time for me. I feel a little weird/guilty about having it, but I also don't. 
• I have to wear sneakers...every day...do you know how hard it is to try and look business casual cute in sneakers?? HARD. 
• The second I come home I kick my shoes off (carefully), strap on an ice pack and elevate. Then I usually do a little yoga to stretch out the day.
• I'm currently trying to pick out an insurance plan (yay for corporate jobs!) that will make it easier for me to pay for my hardware-removal surgery next year - which is still something I'm trying not to think too much about (the removal surgery, not the insurance). 

So that's work. My poor foot that was once so diligently pampered is now kind of neglected. Luckily I get to work from home on Fridays so I have time to go to my new PT, which is Pilates with Lavinia Magliocco who's insanely awesome at what she does - I have high hopes for my recovery (even though it's still going slow. as. fuck.).

SPINNING

I love yoga. You know that by now. Yoga has my heart. BUT GAWDAMMITMOTHERFUCKER there are just certain yoga things I still can't do because I haven't gotten my range of motion back and I still lack strength. So, in addition to yoga and pilates - I had the idea to throw some spinning into the mix. Believe it or not, it demands a really small range of motion from your ankle, and it's a great way to regain strength in the quads, hamstrings, and glutes. I used to be a big spinner in my gym days, but stopped when a hip injury forced me to. These days I don't even belong to a gym - so J took me to the class he likes at his gym.

A few tips for spinning after ankle surgery:

- Don't even think about keeping up with the class - they will inevitably do things you can't. Go at your own pace with your own resistance...and remember: form trumps all.
- In my opinion, I waited just long enough to try the class - I'd say 4-5 months post-op is a good time for it. I made it through the class (again, mostly doing my own thing), but my ankle was fatigued as shit by the end of it. There was much icing that day.
- Make sure you really focus on articulating your ankle joint and challenging your range of motion - it's easy to lock your foot/ankle into a 90 degree angle and just stay there. I sat next to a mirror which was great because I could just look to the side and see what my ankle was doing.
- There are 2 routes to go: sneakers or spinning shoes. Both have pros and cons.

• Spinning shoes cons: they really hold you in there and you can't move our foot around in the shoe very much - you're also literally locked into the pedal and have to kind of jerk your ankle a to get your foot out. That might be jarring for some.
• Spinning shoes pro: they give you a solid base and support for getting out of the saddle (standing while spinning). 
• Sneakers con: when you want to get out of the saddle in sneakers, you won't be able to. They're too bendy and don't provide enough foot/ankle support. 
• Sneakers pro: they let toes and foot wiggle around more which is a good feeling over all. I think. It definitely wasn't a bad feeling.

 I went with sneakers this time (though I debated back and forth...you can see my spinning shoes out in front of me) - I think next time I'll try the spinning shoes.

So that was that. I am a little sore today (the day after) but nothing terrible. I think I'll just do some yoga and ice and I'll be cool. And thank you guys so much for your recent blog comments - they really make my day. It's nice to know people are reading this stuff. 

wearing boots and spreading my toes

Well there have been a few developments of note. One happened last week but I haven't had time to blog about it...

I WORE BOOTS!! I've been wearing sneakers for the last 4.5 months and I'll tell ya, that shit gets old FAST. Especially since I'm a boots girl till death do us part, having to pair outfits with sneakers was getting really challenging (not to mention taxing on my soul and identity). Anyway, I had some pretty strict criteria and none of the boots on my shelf fit the mold, so I had to go and buy a pair. Here was my criteria:

• No heel: You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a flat pair of boots. These ones even have a teeny tiny heel, but it's not detectable to the wearer. 
• Tightness: They had to be just loose enough that if they touched my ankle bone, they didn't rub on it. These ones just hardly graze the bone, and they're furry inside so they're soft. 
• Boot Height: Couldn't be too tall to prevent motion, but couldn't be too low so that they (again) rubbed against my ankle bone in a funny way. 
• Not Heinous: There are so many disgusting boots out there I just can't deal

These Vince boots fit all the criteria AND they're comfortable as fuck. So thank you Nordstrom and Vince...let's get married.  

The other thing I did?

That's right, I got toe spreaders - SmartToes to be exact. I've still been having a lot of tightness and pain in my toes, which you'd never know by guessing, but it's annoying as shit. Uncomfortable to say the least. These things spread out your toes, relax your feet - the tops and the bottoms - and I've found them to be hugely relieving, though I'm not sure if they actually DO anything physiologically.

So that's the past week. I'm still doing yoga pretty much every day and pilates once a week. Certain things are getting easier - I did my first successful "Warrior 2" a few days ago...a position that used to be so effortless is now suddenly the new frontier. Whack.

i basically do things now

Hi all!!

It's been a couple of weeks since my last update - and I realized yesterday that I'm 16 weeks post-op...yes, that's FOUR MONTHS. That's bananas. 4 months is long, but it has sure as fuck felt longer. This also means I started weight-bearing just a little over 2 months ago. Wow. Time sure does NOT fly when the only thing you think about is your ankle.

But on a more positive note - I've been reflecting on how far I've come. I actually kind of do stuff now. Aside from driving to work, being there all day (walking around quite a bit, which is good), and driving back, I also sorta have a social life again.

I made dinner with my mom for her birthday and then cuddled with J on her couch:

I went to a potluck and hung out all night with friends:

I met a brand new baby:

Aaaand in a few hours, J and I are headed to San Francisco! I'm a little nervous. My feet swell on planes a lot anyway, so I'm nervous that mine's gonna explode. Also, it's the first time I'm going through airport security after my ankle's been packed full o' metal, so that should be interesting. We're renting a car so I'm sure there won't be TOO much walking once we're there - but at the same time who doesn't wanna walk? I love walking. Blah.

In other news, I'm still doing pilates and yoga...my ankle is still tight as shit - my range of motion sucks and I still can't tell if it's getting any better. I want this hardware OUT LIKE YESTERDAY. I've started doing ankle ice baths which feel way better than all other ice options, but they're kind of a pain in the ass. 

So that's my update. I'll let you know how San Fran goes.

2 feet down! (follow up #3)

Last week I went to my doctor/surgeon for a follow-up. He said my bones looked strong and were healing great - his exact words were "it's solid in there". (Yes, "solid" is a great descriptor for what's happening in there, it's still so fucking tight). He said I should continue to ween myself off of the crutches until I'm just walking in the boot, and estimated that in about 3 weeks I should be out of the boot and into a sneaker. He also said I could start playing around with putting both feet on the ground...so I did:

 

This video is the 2nd day of putting 2 feet down - the first day I tried it I found myself sobbing uncontrollably from relief and happiness and joy and I think a little bit of fear.

 SUMMARY!!

Where I'm at right now: Walking with 2 crutches & boot when outside, walking with 1 crutch and the boot when inside.

Where I'm headed this week, hopefully: Walking with 1 crutch and boot outside, walking with only boot inside.

Where I'm headed after that: Move to boot-only walking, then when I get out of the boot and into a sneaker, the crutches come back until I'm strong enough to not need the extra support.

So that's that. I didn't blog much last week because not much changed. Or at least it didn't feel like it in the moment, but looking back I guess there is some stuff of note. My range of motion improved by several degrees each way, I got more interesting exercises to do at PT (including using the pilates reformer machine), I'm up to 14 minutes from 6 on the recumbent bike, I finally got my hair done (NOT pictured below), I took a really long walk to get some excellent cheesecake...oh and I bought some towels at Target and rode this thing:

follow up #2 - GREAT NEWS

I went to the doctor yesterday for my 4 week post-op checkup and left feeling GREAT. My new x-rays showed that my bones are healing well, and doc says it's time for physical therapy - YAY!! He also said I can start stretching and moving my ankle around myself - YAY! (and ouch). Still about 4 weeks left of non-weight bearing (as originally prescribed), so I decided to go ahead and hit up the medical supply store (seriously, I had no idea those things existed) and rented this nifty little scooter. It's not covered by insurance unless you have Blue Cross which I don't, but it's only $100/month out of pocket - like a NY metrocard in the good ol days.

I'm saluting not being on crutches I think? Anyway, I feel a sense of optimism for the first time. I've been longing to go on evening walks with J in this beautiful spring weather - a ritual we've picked up in the last year or so. Yesterday I heated up my own soup while parked on Sir Scooter, which is a big step (even though J had to carry the bowl for me). The doctor even said I could try a stationary bike or swimming (oops, don't know how), or some pilates reformer exercises on low resistance. I've still gotta crutch around - up and down steps, in certain narrow spaces in the house, etc. - but in the larger scheme of things this scooter really helps out.

You know what else helps out?? YOU GUYS. Thanks so much for all of the texts, facebook messages, Instagram comments, and in-person visits - yall know who you are. I'm going to keep publishing this stuff so keep tuning in if you want to. And when I'm not writing, I'm probably just doing this: