the nuts and bolts of it

I went to the doc today to discuss my hardware removal!!!! Like, thank you for existing but ok get the fuck out now.

So anyway, apparently it's a super easy recovery. Doc says I'll be able to walk out of the hospital same day, and should just bring one crutch for soreness. I have to keep it dry for a week because of stitches, and have to elevate and ice for swelling which won't be nearly as bad as the first time, especially because I can put weight on it and it won't be immobilized. So, eager as hell, we set the date for Jan 16th. But then I got to work and my manager mentioned that that time would be really busy and asked me to postpone 2 weeks. Sigh. I called the doc to reschedule but they haven't called me back yet. Now I'm antsy.

I JUST WANT IT OUT. Even though I'm super afraid of surgery. But I seriously can't think about all the damn hardware anymore. Can I please move on with my life for chrissake? Thank you. Amen.

The Broken Ankle Diaries: 8 Months Post-Op

Here are just a few of the emails I mentioned - some are complete, some are just snippets of longer ones:

Broken ankle person #1:

I had ankle surgery 6 weeks and 2 days ago on my lower fibula (one metal plate and five screws) after falling while penny skateboarding. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest (including the challenges of peeing post-op). Living in a college dorm with no elevator really sucks, but reading your posts helps me realize I'm not alone. I relate to every one of your posts, and find hope when I want to break down and cry like a baby because my friends want to go do something fun and can't understand why I don't "want" to go. Truly, only people who have been on crutches understand the daily struggles (and perhaps our boyfriends who have been there every step of the way).  Good luck with your ankle and I look forward to reading more about the rest of your recovery!

 

Broken ankle person #2:

I broke my tibia down by the ankle and did not have surgery...its been 8 weeks.
I have no pain anymore unless I massage my foot deeply, the dr said I can put weight on the foot w the boot on...actually inside I am walking w crutches and no boot, just w socks on....still no pain. I even tried one crutch only and no boot today and it was slow going but fine/no pain
I am swollen  still and very stiff....but I think I am doing well considering I did not have the surgery. Did you go to rehab??? Or did you do all your rehab at home? Watching your video made me feel so not alone...the crutches are whats driving me crazy...

 

Broken ankle person #3:

Thanks so much for your blog.  I'm approaching three weeks post surgery on a fracture of both bones in my leg just above my ankle and I'm reading anything I can to stay anywhere near centered about what this is like. I normally travel a lot for work so I'm used to new places and new people and new things ALL THE TIME.  Now I'm non weight bearing for six weeks, then working back to walking after that and it's rough. The narcotics and bowels, check.  Sleeping in unnatural positions, check. Altering my diet because I'm a sloth now, check.  Me, the big strong man breaking into tears of depression because I hadn't left the house in more than a week, check. At least with your story I know I'm something closer to normal than I feel. Total?  Three fractures, two plates, 15 screws and two surgical incisions. The bright side is that I actually can work from home...

 

Broken ankle person #4:

Mother-fING shittiest injury of ALL TIME.

Your blog:  I laugh, I cringe, I laugh some more. 

Substitute your J for my two young children and their Dad...and the rest is exactly the same.  One exception, I believe I went off on an indignant verbal tirade on the nurses after my surgery while I was still under anesthesia that probably was not actually working between my brain and body.

Two children with heads like great big melons doesn't compare to the misery of the broken ankle.

FIRST YOGA CLASS

Today - at nearly 7 months post-ankle surgery - I finally mustered up the guts to take my first yoga class. If you're a regular reader here, you know I've got a pretty consistent yoga practice at home, and have been working at it since as soon as I had the energy post-op (see here, here, here and here). However, I've been too scared to go to an actual class...with people...and teachers...and actual flows.

Going today was a combination of feeling ready, being really sick of my home practice, and feeling kind of stuck with where my body recovery is overall. I went to Seth Hutton's class at Yoga Pearl - he's fucking amazing and his class was PERFECT. I approached him before class and told him it was my first time back - he smiled and said he'd keep an eye on me for adjustments.

So, the class: first of all the room was heated but not boiling, so my ankle and leg muscles got nice and loose. Well, loose-ish...as loose as one could hope for. Second, his pacing was amazing - his focus for the day was slow and intentional rather than rigorous. Yes there were certain things I couldn't do - some because I lost strength and flexibility after surgery, and some stuff was just beyond where I was before the ankle break. (For example in downward dog, my left heel can touch the floor but my right is still about an inch off). I was perfectly challenged. I thanked Seth for the class afterward and he said he had his eyes on me but didn't think I needed to be adjusted - definitely a confidence boost.

After a green juice and some icing (my achilles has really been bugging me lately), I feel great. I will definitely be going back. Weeeee!!!

Take away: Ankle breakers, do everything you can to stay loose and strong. If you're bed-ridden, stretch in bed. If you're just beginning to walk, try my yoga videos or swim or get on a recumbent bike. The longer you stay inactive the more challenging it will be to get active again - I promise it's worth it. If you want more in-depth advice on how to do that, don't hesitate to reach out.

chelsea boot girl

In July - right around my 3 month post-op mark - Cat Footwear was kind enough to send me a pair of boots. These boots were gorgeous. Deep brown leather, flawless stitching, tough but femme...PULL-ON CHELSEA BOOTS.

What I mean by this is, chelsea boots have no zippers, no laces - you pull them on and you pull them off. Mind you, I had just started walking at that point (sans boot or crutches). I was still in sneakers every day. Like a good girl, I waited a few weeks to try them on, but eventually I grew tired of waiting and had to GET THOSE BEAUTIES ON MY FEET. So...

Left foot: In. Easy breezy.
Right foot: In! Cool. Whew.
Can I walk in them? Hm, yes I can (though at that point they rubbed against my sensitive ankle screw like crazy. Ok better take them off now.
Left foot: Out. Easy.
Right foot: HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCKER I CAN'T GET THIS THING OFF. I was stuck, like a Chinese finger trap. My foot wasn't flexible enough to pull out yet and it hurt like hell. Obviously the only way out was to pull hard and shimmy, so that's what I did and eventually got out, but it wasn't pleasant and I felt sorry for myself.

So, fast-forward to this past week (about 3 months later), I decided to try those beautiful bitches on again. Both feet slid in easily, and - since I had to know right away what I would be in for should I decide to wear them that day - both feet came right out!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaand here they are...

Thank you to Cat Footwear, you made me happy in more ways than just gorgeous footwear. :)

they tried to make me go to rehab and I said...actually i'm just gonna do this video, thanks

In my last post I told you I'm interested in trying barre3 as a supplement to yoga. Well, I know I'm not healed enough for a class, AND everything on their site costs money. Eff that, I got enough billz. So I took it to YouTube and found THIS GEM.


Dudes, I'm telling you. There is no part of my legs/butt/low back that wasn't sore the next day. It raised my heart rate, it made me break a sweat. At 6 months post-op, it's a great thing to introduce into your workout/rehab/whatever it is you're doing. Especially for post-ankle breaks, the attention this workout pays to the feet and ankles and legs is so fantastic. And honestly, even if you're not recovering from ankle surgery, you'll probably like this too. Combined with yoga...well...I'm psyched.

6 months and a little bit...

Well, it's been about 6 months since my ankle surgery. 25 weeks and 3 days to be exact. When I was still bed-ridden and scouring the blogs and forums, I remember many folks said that 6 months post-op is when they began to feel normal. And I think that's key here - BEGAN.

I still don't feel anywhere close to normal, but I don't feel TERRIBLE. Sure, I can walk here, walk there, I can go out to dinner, the theatre, sporting events, whatever. But I'm keenly aware of my ankle every second of every day. Every second. Of every day. When I walk down steps, when I'm at my computer, when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, in meetings, in parking lots, in the shower, when I do yoga, when I don't do yoga, when I think about yoga, when I make dinner, when I make out with J and have to get on my tippy-toes, when I'm grocery shopping and that big cumbersome cart makes better sharp turns than I do...

I'm telling you. ALL. THE FUCKING. TIME.

As this cold weather rolls in, I'm also very aware of how cold my hardware gets. Cold hardware ankle isn't like having cold muscles - it doesn't just warm up by doing stuff anymore...I actually have to heat it up. I've been using a heating pad or hot water bottle, but I'm looking for some type of electric bootie that will do the trick (I don't have a microwave so I'm kind of limited). Saunas are also in my future.

My achilles is sore...pretty much all day every day. Stretching it basically does nothing. My calf is tight from my achilles being tight, and my shin is wound up too. Oh yeah, and my toes...ugh. I'm still seeing my massage therapist Ashley every other week and she helps me a lot. (By the way if you live in or around Portland, OR, you gotta check this chick out.). I've also - oddly - been integrating a lot of ballet moves into my workouts this past week, which makes me think maybe I should try barre3. Believe it or not, I actually used to be a ballerina, so the movements feel kind of natural. Would I be able to keep up in a class? Mostly likely not. Hm, DVD?

This isn't me complaining - but telling you what "beginning to feel normal" at 6 months post-op feels like for me. In my experience, the 6 month mark is more about being able to do normal things. But that isn't enough for me. I want to do awesome things, and feel awesome and look awesome. I still can't wear most of my shoes - all of my heeled/platform shoes are looking at me like C'MON BITCH HURRY UP. I'm trying guys, I'm trying. 

So...that's where I'm at now guys. No pictures or videos for this one - 6 months doesn't deserve it.

calf exercises for that puny excuse for a leg

I promise, you definitely won't care to watch this video unless you've had ankle surgery. Or you just really like watching me babble and do things. It's all about re-building your ankle and calf after a calf-atrophy. It's a slow slow process but it's gotta be done. Hopefully you're not as hard on your calf as I am on mine...a weak ugly calf needs love too :)

SPINNING

I love yoga. You know that by now. Yoga has my heart. BUT GAWDAMMITMOTHERFUCKER there are just certain yoga things I still can't do because I haven't gotten my range of motion back and I still lack strength. So, in addition to yoga and pilates - I had the idea to throw some spinning into the mix. Believe it or not, it demands a really small range of motion from your ankle, and it's a great way to regain strength in the quads, hamstrings, and glutes. I used to be a big spinner in my gym days, but stopped when a hip injury forced me to. These days I don't even belong to a gym - so J took me to the class he likes at his gym.

A few tips for spinning after ankle surgery:

- Don't even think about keeping up with the class - they will inevitably do things you can't. Go at your own pace with your own resistance...and remember: form trumps all.
- In my opinion, I waited just long enough to try the class - I'd say 4-5 months post-op is a good time for it. I made it through the class (again, mostly doing my own thing), but my ankle was fatigued as shit by the end of it. There was much icing that day.
- Make sure you really focus on articulating your ankle joint and challenging your range of motion - it's easy to lock your foot/ankle into a 90 degree angle and just stay there. I sat next to a mirror which was great because I could just look to the side and see what my ankle was doing.
- There are 2 routes to go: sneakers or spinning shoes. Both have pros and cons.

• Spinning shoes cons: they really hold you in there and you can't move our foot around in the shoe very much - you're also literally locked into the pedal and have to kind of jerk your ankle a to get your foot out. That might be jarring for some.
• Spinning shoes pro: they give you a solid base and support for getting out of the saddle (standing while spinning). 
• Sneakers con: when you want to get out of the saddle in sneakers, you won't be able to. They're too bendy and don't provide enough foot/ankle support. 
• Sneakers pro: they let toes and foot wiggle around more which is a good feeling over all. I think. It definitely wasn't a bad feeling.

 I went with sneakers this time (though I debated back and forth...you can see my spinning shoes out in front of me) - I think next time I'll try the spinning shoes.

So that was that. I am a little sore today (the day after) but nothing terrible. I think I'll just do some yoga and ice and I'll be cool. And thank you guys so much for your recent blog comments - they really make my day. It's nice to know people are reading this stuff. 

a little more yoga after ankle surgery

There's a little more yoga progress happening all the time...and when I say "little", I REALLY MEAN JUST A FUCKING TEENY TINY BIT. Anyway, I believe I owe my progress to a lot of things - icing, walking, strengthening, pilates, massage - but yoga has been my main (and daily) go-to. It keeps me sane, makes me less sore, gives me a sense of movement when I still feel I have very few options. So I thought I'd share with you several of my main moves that have helped me see some added flexibility along the way (though again, I'm sure everything is contributing to it).

I chose this image as the video still because I think it's sassy - and when you're recovering from ankle surgery (even 5 months out), sometimes that's JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

wearing boots and spreading my toes

Well there have been a few developments of note. One happened last week but I haven't had time to blog about it...

I WORE BOOTS!! I've been wearing sneakers for the last 4.5 months and I'll tell ya, that shit gets old FAST. Especially since I'm a boots girl till death do us part, having to pair outfits with sneakers was getting really challenging (not to mention taxing on my soul and identity). Anyway, I had some pretty strict criteria and none of the boots on my shelf fit the mold, so I had to go and buy a pair. Here was my criteria:

• No heel: You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a flat pair of boots. These ones even have a teeny tiny heel, but it's not detectable to the wearer. 
• Tightness: They had to be just loose enough that if they touched my ankle bone, they didn't rub on it. These ones just hardly graze the bone, and they're furry inside so they're soft. 
• Boot Height: Couldn't be too tall to prevent motion, but couldn't be too low so that they (again) rubbed against my ankle bone in a funny way. 
• Not Heinous: There are so many disgusting boots out there I just can't deal

These Vince boots fit all the criteria AND they're comfortable as fuck. So thank you Nordstrom and Vince...let's get married.  

The other thing I did?

That's right, I got toe spreaders - SmartToes to be exact. I've still been having a lot of tightness and pain in my toes, which you'd never know by guessing, but it's annoying as shit. Uncomfortable to say the least. These things spread out your toes, relax your feet - the tops and the bottoms - and I've found them to be hugely relieving, though I'm not sure if they actually DO anything physiologically.

So that's the past week. I'm still doing yoga pretty much every day and pilates once a week. Certain things are getting easier - I did my first successful "Warrior 2" a few days ago...a position that used to be so effortless is now suddenly the new frontier. Whack.